Woman Clings to Toilet, Survives Tornado

When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go

Published on June 4, 2004 By blogic In Humor

For many of us, the bathroom is a refuge from the dangers of everyday life. For this woman, it was much more.

From Yahoo News: "With a monster tornado bearing down on her last weekend, Diane Neises sought refuge in the bathroom of her manufactured home and locked her arms around the toilet."

Really, that's pretty amazing, but I can empathize with her. When at home, the bathroom is a haven from unpaid bills, chores, my wife looking for me to do chores, and Sunday NPR: which my wife loves but I don't.

So, I'll sit in the bathroom and read the paper. If I don't have a paper, I'll read the shampoo ingredients. It really doesn't matter. If there were a tornado, which would be pretty impressive since I live in New York City, that's where I'd be: on my toilet, reading about Ammonium Laureth Sulfate, Dimethicone, and Panthenyl Ethyl Ether.

The toilet is kind of like "base" was back when we played freeze tag in third grade. It's a safe zone, and time on the toilet almost always leaves me feeling better.

At work, the toilet is where I sit when I don't want new assignments, or I haven't completed the old ones. Maybe I'm just avoiding watercooler conversation, especially if that conversation is going to be with someone who can fire me. I really hate having to fake being casual with people who control my financial wellbeing. "HA HA HA!" that's so fucking funny you'd have to pay me to laugh. Oh wait a minute: you are!

The worst thing is running into your boss in the bathroom: Yeah, all those funny sounds? Yeah, that was me. Sorry about the funky smell. No need to shake hands, no sir.

Adam

Comments

MasonM

on Jun 04, 2004

Truth be known she had just had too much to drink. Lucky wench.

blogic

on Jun 04, 2004

Really, she was incredibly lucky. But I think there's a message here: God respects those who look for security in their toilets.

MasonM

on Jun 04, 2004

Damn, blogic that's too funny on so many levels

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!