Jesse Helms is Back! And This Time, He's Black.

And He's Laying Down the Smack

Published on June 9, 2004 By blogic In Politics

How funny is that?

Okay, I can't take credit for that headline; it's the unofficial slogan of a leading candidate for Congress, Vernon Robinson.

He has a hilarious web site: VernonRobinson.com and some awesome radio spots:

"The aliens are here, but they didn't come in a spaceship," an announcer says over the theme to "The Twilight Zone." "They've filled our criminal courtrooms and clogged our schools ... They sponge off the American taxpayer ... they've even taken over the DMV. These aliens commit heinous crimes ... You walk into a McDonald's restaurant to order a Big Mac, and find to your horror that the employees don't speak English." (1)

You can also download his radio spots from his web site. I hope he fucking pays me for this free press.

He's the type of guy liberals love to hate. He xenophobically attacks illegal aliens, bashes gays, and announces the crisis of "feminization of the military". This is a guy guaranteed to create lots of awkward moments at Thanksgiving. He'd probably start screeching about "welfare queen injuns" or how the country would be better off if we all lived on wooden ships, or some other crazy shit.

Not even the 19th Century is safe from his pillaging: he resurrects the issue of "sound money". He's only a small step from ranting that leaving the gold standard was a communistic ploy, and paper money is only favored by the New York Jew money lenders.

Vernon Robinson will likely end up in Congress. He's the leading Republican candidate, and the district is conservative. You do the math: Vernon will be busy doing the crazy legislating.

He's also a guy this liberal hates to love. His ads are offensive, but really clever and purty darn funny. The Universe is a strange neighborhood to live in: it shouldn't be possible for a xenophobic homophobe to be witty; but Vernon Robinson is.

You go, Vernon Robinson! Just please don't go to Washington.

Comments

Guy LeCharles Gonzalez

on Jun 09, 2004

His ads are offensive, but really clever and purty darn funny.

It's the secret behind much of talk radio's success, from Howard Stern to Michael Savage.

http://loudpoet.blogspot.com

MasonM

on Jun 09, 2004

Sounds like my kinda guy! Where do I have to move to vote for him?????

that leaving the gold standard was a communistic ploy

It was.

"The aliens are here, but they didn't come in a spaceship,"

Well, ok he's wrong on that one. I'll give you that. Of course they used spaceships. How ridiculous.

The Universe is a strange neighborhood to live in

So true, but what are the options?

Ok I'm done now.

blogic

on Jun 10, 2004

Yeah, I guess you're right about that. I've listened to Rush, and I may disagree with much of his stuff, but he puts on a good show. Air America Radio is trying to accomplish the same for the left. To be honest, a lot of it is screechy, but the 6-9 AM (EST, GMT -5) show is good, as is the one from 7-8 PM.

blogic

on Jun 11, 2004

Reply To: MasonM

Awesome comment!

Wouldn't it be unnecessarily complex for Mexican illegals to use spaceships to cross the Rio Grande?

Regarding choice of universe: I'm working on moving to an extropic universe where things tend to become more ordered over time. Man, it would be so awesome to have my room clean up itself!

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