I'm Next to the Crazy Lady, Trapped in the Taxi from Hell

Published on June 12, 2004 By blogic In Blogging

This is another installment in my ...bLOgS FrOM tHE crYPt... series.

In an another life -- remarkably similar to my current one, but earlier, in Washington DC, and while gainfully employed -- I kept a blog at another site that is now derelict.

Pushing aside a moldering tombstone covered with painfully punned headlines, I found this ancient post:

[in a spooky voice]

..BloGS frOM ThE CryPt...

"I'm Next to the Crazy Lady, Trapped in the Taxi from Hell"

So, I took a taxi a couple of days ago, and had the ride from Hell.

I was late to work that day, and because I'm in a brief, oh so brief phase of wanting to really impress the Boss (hey, just joking, Boss, if you're reading this), I really didn't want to be late.

So I jumped in the back of a cab, next to a young woman, and both behind our seriously-in-need-of-some-dental-work driver.

Anyway, she keeps looking at her watch, signing, and suggesting different driving routes, appended with "but I can't force you to drive that way". Meanwhile, the cabbie was silent, and I think may have followed her advice only when it became clear her route was even more gridlocked than the original one.

Well, she kept complaining, and you know how these things go: one thing led to another, and he called her a bitch, and she told him to shut up, and she warned him that "you don't want to fuck with me" while noting that he was violating DC rules regarding displaying his taxi license.

I live in DC, and I'm pretty sure she was a lawyer. Fucking lawyers. Don't sue me!... I'm engaged to one.

She eventually got out and walked off without paying. He ran off chasing her, and I guess grabbed her to stop her from walking away. Honestly, I didn't see that, because I was in the taxi, waiting for my fucking cab ride. Really, I should have just stolen the taxi, right? Well, except that I've never owned a car so that probably wouldn't have been a good idea. Cabbies probably drive better than I do.

Of course, I did eventually give up on the ride. For one thing, I really didn't want to have to talk to the driver about it, and it was pretty clear that he was going to want to vent. Anyway, I wasn't so sure he was coming back any time soon. A group of people clustered around them, and by the time I gave up and walked over, he was pleading for sympathy, and she was threatening to dial 911 on her cell.

And they kept calling on me as a witness. "Yes, he called her a bitch"; "Yes, she was yelling at him". All I wanted to do was get to work on time, and I'm stuck playing referee to two complete assholes. They deserved each other.

I got to work late, but it was worth it, because I had the good story. I actually ended up paying the cabbie a good tip, because I didn't have change, and I didn't think I was going to be able to get him to focus on getting me some. The initial ride was slow, and I had to walk a mile after getting out of the cab. I guess I tipped for entertainment.

Comments

No one has commented on this article. Be the first!

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!