"The Venga Bus is coming..." Six Flags Amusement is running a curious commercial on New York television. A bus pulls up to the curb, and out jumps this hyper old guy, except it's obvious he's wearing one of those fake bald-skin caps. Like a swimming cap, but flesh colored. This techno dance tune beings playing, and the guy just starts jumping around like crazy. Kind of dancing, kind of having a seizure. He's obviously freaking out the people around him, but for reasons only obvious to S...

"The Venga Bus is coming..." Six Flags Amusement is running a curious commercial on New York television. A bus pulls up to the curb, and out jumps this hyper old guy, except it's obvious he's wearing one of those fake bald-skin caps. Like a swimming cap, but flesh colored. This techno dance tune beings playing, and the guy just starts jumping around like crazy. Kind of dancing, kind of having a seizure. He's obviously freaking out the people around him, but for reasons only obvious to S...

After much looking, I've found my next job: "Psychotherapy center seeks an attractive woman to do sex/surrogate therapy work.The technique consists of a combination of massage, sensual healing and energy work, incorporating the Masters and Johnson method. Training is provided and the work is therapeutic, legal and legitimate. Compensation: $50.00/hour" I'm not a woman, and jury's still out on how attractive I am (*very* attractive, after a few drinks). Actually, as long as I'm on a t...

After much looking, I've found my next job: "Psychotherapy center seeks an attractive woman to do sex/surrogate therapy work.The technique consists of a combination of massage, sensual healing and energy work, incorporating the Masters and Johnson method. Training is provided and the work is therapeutic, legal and legitimate. Compensation: $50.00/hour" I'm not a woman, and jury's still out on how attractive I am (*very* attractive, after a few drinks). Actually, as long as I'm on a t...

Man, it's a hard knock life. I sometimes listen to songs on endless repeat. I think Jennifer sometimes wants to kill me, hearing the same notes and lyrics, time after time after time. It's my way to get back at her for playing Sunday public radio. NPR is like slow torture on Sundays. And I hate the fucking musical interludes. Anyway, the problem is that after listening to a song a lot, you start to think it's deeper than it is, and you want to use it's lines for situtations in your l...

Man, it's a hard knock life. I sometimes listen to songs on endless repeat. I think Jennifer sometimes wants to kill me, hearing the same notes and lyrics, time after time after time. It's my way to get back at her for playing Sunday public radio. NPR is like slow torture on Sundays. And I hate the fucking musical interludes. Anyway, the problem is that after listening to a song a lot, you start to think it's deeper than it is, and you want to use it's lines for situtations in your l...

For those of us interested in the End Times and politics, British Prime Minister Tony Blair is a mountain in our mental landscape. With his debonair faux-Eton accent, slightly too bright look, and prominenence in international politics, he seems a good candidate as someone indwelt with the Father of Lies. In addition, there was the irony that he appears to the world as a lackey of George Bush; but to those of us in the know, the more likely truth is that Blair is pulling Bush's strings. ...

For those of us interested in the End Times and politics, British Prime Minister Tony Blair is a mountain in our mental landscape. With his debonair faux-Eton accent, slightly too bright look, and prominenence in international politics, he seems a good candidate as someone indwelt with the Father of Lies. In addition, there was the irony that he appears to the world as a lackey of George Bush; but to those of us in the know, the more likely truth is that Blair is pulling Bush's strings. ...

Parents give me strange looks at the science museum. I can tell they're looking at me. Who is that guy? I don't see any kids with him. Does he want to molest my son? The problem is, I love science museums. I'm fucking insane about the Exploratorium , in San Francisco. They have this incredible holographic screw: you reach out to touch it, and your fingers pass right through. I know, doesn't sound like much, but it is. But you know the parents are thinking: Why's he near my son, next...

Parents give me strange looks at the science museum. I can tell they're looking at me. Who is that guy? I don't see any kids with him. Does he want to molest my son? The problem is, I love science museums. I'm fucking insane about the Exploratorium , in San Francisco. They have this incredible holographic screw: you reach out to touch it, and your fingers pass right through. I know, doesn't sound like much, but it is. But you know the parents are thinking: Why's he near my son, next...

I hate slow walkers. Slow walkers are those people who slowly drift along the sidewalk, hallway, or pedestrian tunnel, sometimes listing to the left or to the right, blocking you as you try to get to an appointment, or to work on time. You try to scoot around the slow walker, but they're unaware of their surroundings, never move to let you past, and worst yet, just as you dart to that opening on the slow walker's left, the slow walker meanders into your path. Foiled again! By the nat...

I hate slow walkers. Slow walkers are those people who slowly drift along the sidewalk, hallway, or pedestrian tunnel, sometimes listing to the left or to the right, blocking you as you try to get to an appointment, or to work on time. You try to scoot around the slow walker, but they're unaware of their surroundings, never move to let you past, and worst yet, just as you dart to that opening on the slow walker's left, the slow walker meanders into your path. Foiled again! By the nat...

Anyway, as I was saying, my wife Jennifer, her friend Jeff, and I were zipping across Manhattan to get to the Westside. Our taxi driver was zipping with us, naturally. The start of the ride was a little difficult. With three backseat drivers (well, I was actually in the passenger seat), Cabbie was getting a little frustrated with our contradictory instructions. Cabbie, being a cabbie, thought he knew the best way to cross the city. We all helpfully suggested three other ways of crossing, e...

Anyway, as I was saying, my wife Jennifer, her friend Jeff, and I were zipping across Manhattan to get to the Westside. Our taxi driver was zipping with us, naturally. The start of the ride was a little difficult. With three backseat drivers (well, I was actually in the passenger seat), Cabbie was getting a little frustrated with our contradictory instructions. Cabbie, being a cabbie, thought he knew the best way to cross the city. We all helpfully suggested three other ways of crossing, e...

For many of us, the bathroom is a refuge from the dangers of everyday life. For this woman, it was much more. From Yahoo News : "With a monster tornado bearing down on her last weekend, Diane Neises sought refuge in the bathroom of her manufactured home and locked her arms around the toilet." Really, that's pretty amazing, but I can empathize with her. When at home, the bathroom is a haven from unpaid bills, chores, my wife looking for me to do chores, and Sunday NPR: which my wife ...